by Wendy Jones

In the Beginning:

When to Discuss the Move...

   Older Children

      As soon as you have definite plans, you should tell older children.  They need plenty of time to work things through and make their own adjustments.  Saying good-bye to friends cannot be rushed.  DO NOT SURPRISE THEM!  By keeping your move a secret until the last minute, you run the risk that they will hear about it from someone else... and this could be disastrous.

   Younger Children

      It is better NOT to tell young children that you are moving, until activity is underway which actually involves them.  A small child cannot fully understand what a move is all about.  The longer they have to imagine things in their minds, the more nervous and frightened they may become.


How to Discuss the Move...

First and foremost, your mood will have a huge impact on your child.  If your attitude is one of adventure, and if you stay focused on the positive opportunities the move will be creating, this will filter down to your children and help them mentally adjust to the transition.  On the other hand, if you are stressed, worried or depressed, your child will pick up on this also and possibly react in a totally negative manner.

There is no greater fear than fear of the unknown.  Therefore, give as many details about the move to your child as you feel is necessary.  Children need to know why the family is moving and what will be happening during the move.  At all times, remain upbeat and excited, particularly if you are discussing the new home and community.

You might want to hold regular "Moving Talks" with the rest of the family.  At this time, encourage your children to ask questions and voice their feelings.  Almost all children have initial resistance to a disruption of this magnitude.  Listen attentively, honor their issues and address thier concerns in a loving and meaningful way.

Especially for Small Children...

A young child will be focused on the present.  Therefore, the concept of moving in a few weeks (let along months) won't mean much to them.  They will be immediately running to the window, looking for the moving van, and becoming frustrated when it isn't there yet.  Secondly, small children absorb knowledge through fantasy and playing.  Try using boxes and a wagon to help them understand the concept of moving.  Have your child carefully load up the wagon and then have him or her take the wagon into another room to unload the contents.

You can also introduce your small children to the idea of moving by showing them picture books of other children moving.  Make sure you discuss how the people in the book might be feeling.  (No matter what the story, always make sure that you end up on a cheery and happy note).

If you would like more ideas and want to read the full 12 page Moving with Children e-Book, please visit www.ProgressiveRealtyNC.com and click on "450 Ideas e-Book" button.  There is an order form to request the e-Book be emailed to you.  There is no obligation.